Rules and Regulations

Some rules are never fun and the same goes with structure. But, I have found that sometimes it's the only way I can keep my sanity and deal with my physical and emotional health. Lately I have been putting myself on a routine schedule. I wake up, get some cuddles, take my meds, make some breakfast  and get to work on the computer. It's something that I'm getting used to and actually I really like it. I definitely have not always been this way and honestly sometimes I just dislike being told what the fuck to do. Again, sometimes, especially with a job, parents, or other important things it's necessary. My other daily routine after I have completed my morning work and finished my breakfast (the most important god damn meal of the day!) is of course, getting a workout in.  The best way I can get some happy fun energy and get my body running like a mean machine.With my schedule in place I have been so damn productive! Waking up with a purpose feels awesome. In the midst of it I don't have time or even a thoughts to dwell on my epilepsy or over analyze myself. Keeping busy is awesome but at the same time there does need to be a small amount of analyzing just to make sure I'm not feeling at all like I'm going to have a seizure, even a partial one. But that's all part of taking good care of yourself and your body. This doesn't only apply to me, this goes for anyone. We should all be aware of what our bodies are doing and making sure we are running well. This doesn't mean get on web MD and convince yourself that you have fucking a terminal illness. Just do a quick check, make sure your hearts beating good, your head feels great, and your bod is functioning. I feel like over the past couple weeks I have been functioning at a great level and I feel healthy. I've said it before, I totally have those days where I wake up in a bitchy mood and have uncontrollable urges to tell people to just suck it and leave me be. But thank god I haven't had one of those in a while. I have been pleasantly occupied with a productive schedule and positive things to do. Becoming 100% good with other people telling me what the hell to do is something I've always questioned but I'm definitely going to work on being more accepting of it, but really? does anyone like being told what to do? I think not. That's just another thing for me to work on and another thing that makes me an awesome strong willed individual. I'll keep truckin with my new schedule and it can only get better from here! LOVE!

Awake and Alive

I took last week off from getting a post out there, simply because I was way too scatterbrained to organize a thought.  I had a lot going on mostly all in my head though. Don't get me wrong , I wasn't sitting on my ass the entire time going nuts (which has happened before). I was getting into new ventures and experimenting with different ways to help people, improve myself, and have fun with something productive. I'm a very impulsive person and when I want something I do what I need to do to get it. I try to balance everything as best that I can but anxiety can get to me and I can get easily frustrated. I have been trying not to rely on my anit anxiety meds that I get prescribed along with my  even though I do get anxious, then more anxious because I don't want that current anxiety to get to a level where it could significantly lower my seizure threshold. Now that is a vicious circle of bullshit. My impulsive, I want this now, personality can be good and bad. Not going to lie, sometimes I can be an asshole. It's easy for me to blame some things on my meds and the fact that dealing with my seizures is a constant but I try not to go there as much as possible. Sometimes that just doesn't work and it is what it is. I know a lot of people can totally relate! So some of this shit that's been stressing me out has also been awesome and exciting. I don't want to bitch about the new challenge just because there are some things that come along with it that I don't want to do. I create my own destiny and this is just one more thing that I can take and kick ass at.
So, this "thing" I've mentioned is actually doing a new type of fitness challenge, while selling it and being proof that the product works. I will occasionally, take blog in the direction of health and fitness. It's always something I have been into and I want to be the healthiest me, mentally and physically. This challenge group and actually getting people to commit and buy the product will be the toughest part. I haven't felt like I have significantly contributed financially and would love to do that. I've never tried to sell anything before and it's hard to put aside that not all salesmen are annoying buttholes. Thank God Jordan is just proud of me no matter what and will support me in any crazy new endeavor I take on. Ultimately my goal by taking this fitness challenge on is to be supportive and encouraging to anyone else trying to get healthier. Maybe they can relate by having any mental or physical challenge they want to overcome. Proving to myself that I will actually finish this program and hopefully sell some shit and make some money along the way will be a major accomplishment, but I always like my biggest accomplishments to be inspiring and encouraging people, especially those who need it the most. An additional challenge I am going to have to face is balancing all of my new activities with my awesome life I already have. There will be days where I'll have to put my bitchy attitude aside and just get shit done. There will also be those days that I've talked about where I just don't want to do anything. I'll overcome all of this and take on this new challenge. I'm going to do my best and try not to get frustrated when I have to take things a little slower than I would want to so that I can get a good grasp on everything. I'll totally figure it out and kick ass. Just another crazy addition to my book of life.