Awake and Alive

I took last week off from getting a post out there, simply because I was way too scatterbrained to organize a thought.  I had a lot going on mostly all in my head though. Don't get me wrong , I wasn't sitting on my ass the entire time going nuts (which has happened before). I was getting into new ventures and experimenting with different ways to help people, improve myself, and have fun with something productive. I'm a very impulsive person and when I want something I do what I need to do to get it. I try to balance everything as best that I can but anxiety can get to me and I can get easily frustrated. I have been trying not to rely on my anit anxiety meds that I get prescribed along with my  even though I do get anxious, then more anxious because I don't want that current anxiety to get to a level where it could significantly lower my seizure threshold. Now that is a vicious circle of bullshit. My impulsive, I want this now, personality can be good and bad. Not going to lie, sometimes I can be an asshole. It's easy for me to blame some things on my meds and the fact that dealing with my seizures is a constant but I try not to go there as much as possible. Sometimes that just doesn't work and it is what it is. I know a lot of people can totally relate! So some of this shit that's been stressing me out has also been awesome and exciting. I don't want to bitch about the new challenge just because there are some things that come along with it that I don't want to do. I create my own destiny and this is just one more thing that I can take and kick ass at.
So, this "thing" I've mentioned is actually doing a new type of fitness challenge, while selling it and being proof that the product works. I will occasionally, take blog in the direction of health and fitness. It's always something I have been into and I want to be the healthiest me, mentally and physically. This challenge group and actually getting people to commit and buy the product will be the toughest part. I haven't felt like I have significantly contributed financially and would love to do that. I've never tried to sell anything before and it's hard to put aside that not all salesmen are annoying buttholes. Thank God Jordan is just proud of me no matter what and will support me in any crazy new endeavor I take on. Ultimately my goal by taking this fitness challenge on is to be supportive and encouraging to anyone else trying to get healthier. Maybe they can relate by having any mental or physical challenge they want to overcome. Proving to myself that I will actually finish this program and hopefully sell some shit and make some money along the way will be a major accomplishment, but I always like my biggest accomplishments to be inspiring and encouraging people, especially those who need it the most. An additional challenge I am going to have to face is balancing all of my new activities with my awesome life I already have. There will be days where I'll have to put my bitchy attitude aside and just get shit done. There will also be those days that I've talked about where I just don't want to do anything. I'll overcome all of this and take on this new challenge. I'm going to do my best and try not to get frustrated when I have to take things a little slower than I would want to so that I can get a good grasp on everything. I'll totally figure it out and kick ass. Just another crazy addition to my book of life.