1 Day Seizure Free

Unexplainable things in life are inevitable. Over the weekend, the day after I felt inspired to share more of my story, and without rhyme or reason, I had my first seizure of the year. Early Saturday morning, I was woken up by my absolutely incredible husband and he gently told me that I had a seizure. He took all of the proper precautions and handled the situation perfectly and was my savior as usual. By the time he had rolled me onto my side, my seizure had stopped. Jordan makes sure to get me on my side, monitors my breathing and times the length of it. Thankfully this was one of my shortest ones and I was woken up by him rather than paramedics. We can't think of anything in particular that could have caused this one. I didn't skip my meds and I've been happy and healthy. There has been some stress in my life and just stressful people in particular. Thankfully I don't have to be around them very often but when I am, my anxiety level shoots through the roof, but who knows, there will never be proof or a definite trigger determined. That along with a couple minor stresses definitely could have contributed to my seizure early Saturday morning. Every time I have had one it has occurred upon awakening. I usually carry an Ativan on my at all times in case I do get overwhelmed and extremely anxious but for some reason I just didn't have one. 

Waking up from a seizure is the scariest thing for me. I wake up, see Jordan, say I love you, and just cry. I can't remember anything else. I can't remember what we did the day before, what day it is, and basically just can't wrap my mind around anything. I cry because I am so bummed out that I've had one and because I'm scared as hell. Then comes exhaustion. The rest of the day I am just mentally and physically exhausted. Thankfully my memory bounces back pretty fast and i become less freaked out. From then on, my whole day is shot. There is no energy to do anything. I cuddle up on the couch with my hubby and focus on rest and recovery. The day flys by. There's no concept of time and while I was thinking it was only 11:00, it was actually 3:00. I napped on and on throughout the day and hydrated. That is a point that has been hard for me to reach because in the past I have wanted to just get up and go when I actually just need to take a day to rest my body. Saturday night I took an Ativan before bed because that lurking fear that I could have another one was definitely there so I decided to clear any anxiety and doze off into a restful sleep with the help of the Ativan that I usually prefer not to take. It's going to be scary for a while. 100% of my seizures have happened early in the mornings upon awakening in bed, thank God! But this does make it scary because of course it crosses my mind before I go to bed. I fall asleep peacefully and then I wake up to some scary shit. Faith and positivity is what I have to lean on and of course my amazing family. I couldn't be so strong without them. I'm feeling confident that this is just a small speed bump and not something to be super alarmed by. And mom, please don't freak out too bad for too long it's all good, I'm fine and super alive!! I will surround myself with positive people because when people around me are freakin out over my situation, it makes my freak out level rise. I'm a little scared at the moment, only because my body doesn't quite feel completely back to normal yet. Still feeling a little tired and spacey but that's not too far off from my usual demeanor. As long as I'm feeling a little better each day, I'll take it. It's somewhat of a reset. I always appreciate this beautiful life and all of the people in it, but after these episodes I find myself dwelling on the fact that I am so thankful for life, and so thankful for health, thankful for friends and family, and so thankful to be here in this amazing world. It makes me reflect on the irrelevance of some of my worries. I can't let those stand in my way or take away any once of happiness or pleasure. I especially can't let anyone else's negative energy and hatefulness bother me whether it is projected upon me or not. Poor them! Maybe my situation is a blessing. The fact that I'm alive and surrounded by such wonderful people and love puts me on top of the world. Have a beautiful week everyone. Please appreciate and be happy! Life is such a gift!